With my studies underway and numerous letters to send off I decided to get on top of it all and took a trip down to the local town and to complete was meant to be a relatively simple task. Fill in form. Put in an envelope. Send to University. Only I had not reckoned on some 'Adjustment Bureau' style intervention.
|8 hot dogs...12 buns|
Firstly I made the mistake of having two letters to send but only one envelope, not a problem on the face of it as it was going to the same University yes? No. Two different addresses meant I now needed another envelope. Again not an issue because after all....I was in a post office right? Wrong. The Post Office had a big sign stating 'We do not sell envelopes singularly' so I faced having to buy an entire pack for just one envelope. Fine.
Next up the envelope would not stick down so I approached the nice lady behind the counter rather calmly and asked for some tape...."We do not have tape, there is some on the rack behind you" Now I had to buy a roll of tape to seal the one letter that I had just bought as part of a pack they supplied all because I had not read the addresses properly. At this point I walked off mumbling, having vivid images of Steve Martin screaming something about "Some big shot over at the wiener company got together with some big shot at the bun company" to screw the little man. Me.
To add to my pain and torment I tore one of the letters in half and by now the usual cool was starting to turn to steam as I started to freak out, taking off my clothes as the 'heat' got too much for me. All the classic signs of heat stress were present, irritability, incoherent babbling, raised pulse as the simple process of sending a letter became all too much for me shouting "George Banks is saying NO!" whilst people stopped looking at the crazy man in the hat zig-zagging out and onto the concourse trying to get some air.